by Paul Tripp
It is important to recognize the harvest of self-glory in you and in your ministry. May God use this list to give you diagnostic wisdom. May he use it to expose your heart and to redirect your ministry.
Self-glory will cause you to:
1. Parade in public what should be kept in private.
The Pharisees live for us as a primary example. Because they saw their lives as glorious, they were quick to parade that glory before watching eyes.
The more you think you've arrived and the less you see yourself as daily needing rescuing grace, the more you will tend to be self-referencing and self-congratulating. Because you are attentive to self-glory, you will work to get greater glory even when you aren't aware that you're doing it. You will tend to tell personal stories that make you the hero.
You will find ways, in public settings, of talking about private acts of faith. Because you think you're worthy of acclaim, you will seek the acclaim of others by finding ways to present yourself as "godly."
I know most pastors reading this column will think they would never do this. But I am convinced there is a whole lot more "righteousness parading" in pastoral ministry than we would tend to think.
It is one of the reasons I find pastors' conferences, presbytery meetings, general assemblies, ministeriums and church-planting gatherings uncomfortable at times. Around the table after a session, these gatherings can degenerate into a pastoral ministry "spitting contest" where we are tempted to be less than honest about what's really going on in our hearts and ministries.
After celebrating the glory of the grace of the Gospel, there is way too much self-congratulatory glory-taking by people who seem to need more acclaim than they deserve.
2. Be way too self-referencing.
We all know it, we've all seen it, we've all been uncomfortable with it and we've all done it.
Proud people tend to talk about themselves a lot. Proud people tend to like their opinions more than the opinions of others. Proud people think their stories are more interesting and engaging than others.
Proud people think they know and understand more than others. Proud people think they've earned the right to be heard. Proud people, because they are basically proud of what they know and what they've done, talk a lot about both. Proud people don't reference weakness. Proud people don't talk about failure. Proud people don't confess sin.
So proud people are better at putting the spotlight on themselves than they are at shining the light of their stories and opinions on God's glorious and utterly undeserved grace.
3. Talk when you should be quiet.
When you think you've arrived, you are quite proud of and confident in your opinions. You trust your opinions, so you are not as interested in the opinions of others as you should be.
You will tend to want your thoughts, perspectives and viewpoints to win the day in any given meeting or conversation. This means you will be way more comfortable than you should be with dominating a gathering with your talk. You will fail to see that in a multitude of counsel there is wisdom. You will fail to see the essential ministry of the body of Christ in your life.
You will fail to recognize your bias and spiritual blindness. So you won't come to meetings formal or informal with a personal sense of need for what others have to offer, and you will control the talk more than you should.
4. Be quiet when you should speak.
Self-glory can go the other way as well. Leaders who are too self-confident, who unwittingly attribute to themselves what could only have been accomplished by grace, often see meetings as a waste of time.
Because they are proud, they are too independent, so meetings tend to be viewed as an irritating and unhelpful interruption of an already overburdened ministry schedule. Because of this they will either blow meetings off or tolerate the gathering, attempting to bring it to a close as quickly as possible.
So they don't throw their ideas out for consideration and evaluation because, frankly, they don't think they need it. And when their ideas are on the table and being debated, they don't jump into the fray, because they think what they have opined or proposed simply doesn't need to be defended.
Self-glory will cause you to speak too much when you should listen and to feel no need to speak when you surely should.
5. Care too much about what people think about you.
When you have fallen into thinking you're something, you want people to recognize the something. Again, you see this in the Pharisees: Personal assessments of self-glory always lead to glory-seeking behavior.
People who think they have arrived can become all too aware of how others respond to them. Because you're hyper-vigilant, watching the way the people in your ministry respond, you probably don't even realize how you do things for self-acclaim.
Sadly, we often minister the Gospel of Jesus Christ for the sake of our own glory, not for the glory of Christ or the redemption of the people under our care. I have done this. I have thought during the preparation for a sermon that a certain point, put a certain way, would win a detractor, and I have watched for certain people's reactions as I have preached.
In these moments, in the preaching and preparation of a sermon, I had forsaken my calling as the ambassador of the eternal glory of another for the purpose of my acquiring the temporary praise of men.
6. Care too little about what people think about you.
If you think you've arrived, you are so self-assured you simply don't think others should evaluate your thoughts, ideas, actions, words, plans, goals, attitudes or initiatives.
You really don't think you need help. You do alone what should be done in a group. And if you work with a group, you will tend to surround yourself with people who are all too impressed with you, all too excited to be included by you and who will find it hard to say anything but "yes" to you.
You have forgotten who you are and what your Savior says you daily need. You live in a place of both personal and also ministry danger.
7. Resist facing and admitting your sins, weaknesses and failures.
Why do any of us get upset or tense when we are being confronted? Why do any of us activate our inner lawyer and rise to our defense? Why do any of us turn the tables and remind the other person we are not the only sinner in the room? Why do we argue about the facts or dispute the other person's interpretation?
We do all of these things because we are convinced we are more righteous than the other person. Proud people don't welcome loving warning, rebuke, confrontation, criticism or accountability. And when they fail, they are very good at erecting plausible reasons for what they said or did given the stresses of the situation or relationship.
Are you quick to admit weakness? Are you ready to own your failures before God and others? Are you ready to face your weaknesses with humility?
Remember, if the eyes or ears of a ministry partner ever see or hear your sin, weakness or failure, it is never a hassle, never a ministry interruption, and it should never be viewed as an affront. It is always grace. God loves you, he has put you in this community of faith and he will reveal your spiritual needs to those around you so they may be his tools of conviction, rescue and transformation.
8. Struggle with the blessings of others.
Self-glory is always at the base of envy. You envy others' blessings because you see them as less deserving than you. And because you see yourself as more deserving, it is hard for you not to be mad they get what you deserve, and it is nearly impossible for you not to crave and covet what they wrongfully enjoy.
In your envious self-glory, you are actually charging God with being unjust and unfair. In ways you may not be aware, you begin to be comfortable with doubting God's wisdom, justice and goodness. You don't think he has been kind to you in the way you deserve. This begins to rob you of motivation to do what is right, because it doesn't seem to make any difference.
It is important to recognize there is a short step between envy and bitterness. That's why envious Asaph cries in Psalm 73:13, "All in vain have I kept my heart clean and washed my hands in innocence." He's saying, "I've obeyed, and this is what I get?" Then he writes, "When my soul was embittered, when I was pricked in heart, I was brutish and ignorant; I was like a beast before you." What a word picture—a bitter beast!
I have met many bitter pastors; men convinced they have endured hardships they really didn't deserve. I have met many bitter pastors, envious of others' ministries, who have lost their motivation and joy. I have met many pastors who have come to doubt the goodness of God. And you don't tend to run for help, in your time of need, to someone you have come to doubt.
9. Be more position-oriented than submission-oriented.
Self-glory will always make you more oriented to place, power and position than in submission to the will of the King. You see this in the lives of the disciples. Jesus hadn't called them to himself to make their little kingdom purposes come true, but to welcome them as recipients and instruments of a better kingdom. Yet in their pride, they missed the whole point. They were all too oriented to the question of who would be greatest in the kingdom.
You can never fulfill your ambassadorial calling and want the power and position of a king. Position orientation will cause you to be political when you should be pastoral. It will cause you to require service when you should be willing to serve. It will cause you to demand of others what you wouldn't be willing to do yourself. It will cause you to ask for privilege when you should be willing to give up your rights.
It will cause you to think too much about how things will affect you, rather than thinking of how things will reflect on Christ. It will cause you to want to set the agenda, rather than finding joy in submitting to the agenda of Another. Self-glory turns those who have been chosen and called to be ambassadors into self-appointed kings.
10. Control ministry rather than delegate ministry.
When you are full of yourself, when you are too self-assured, you will tend to think you're the most capable person in the circle of your ministry. You will find it hard to recognize and esteem the God-given gifts of others, and because you do, you will find it hard to make ministry a community process. Thinking of yourself more highly than you ought always leads to looking down on others.
Personal humility and neediness will cause you to seek out and esteem the gifts and contributions of others.
Pastors who think they have arrived tend to see delegation as a waste of time. In their hearts they think, Why should I give to another what I could do better myself? Pastoral pride will crush shared ministry and the essential ministry of the body of Christ.
Personal Grief and Remorse
It is important for me to say I have written these cautions with personal grief and remorse. In shocking self-glory I have fallen, at some time in my ministry, into all of these traps. I have dominated when I should have listened. I have controlled what I should have given to others. I have been defensive when I desperately needed rebuke. I have resisted help when I should have been crying out for it. I have been too full of my own opinions and too dismissive of the perspective of others.
I am saddened as I reflect on my many years of ministry, but I am not depressed.
Because in all my weakness, the God of amazing grace has rescued and restored me again and again. He has progressively delivered me from me (a work that is ongoing). And in being torn between the kingdom of self and the kingdom of God, he has miraculously used me in the lives of many others. In love, he has worked to dent and deface my glory so his glory would be my delight.
He has plundered my kingdom so his kingdom would be my joy. And he has crushed my crown under his feet so I would quest to be an ambassador and not crave to be a king.
In this violent mercy there is hope for everyone. Your Lord is not just after the success of your ministry; he is working to dethrone you as well. Only when his throne is more important than yours will you find joy in the hard and humbling task of Gospel ministry. And his grace will not relent until our hearts have been fully captured by his glory. That's good news!
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